Monday, February 17, 2014

DON'T WORRY

Adra,

Don't despair. Do not worry, for falling sick is a part and parcel of life. I know it has been some time but you have shown us that you are made of sterner stuff.

The rashes on your body and your face, they will go away. We, mama and I, think it's measles, all the telltale signs and symptoms point to measles. But we can't rule out dengue, given the current scenario, can we?

That's why I took you to the clinic this morning and had your blood taken, so that it can be tested and get a certainty. I know it was painful, even I myself cringe every time the sharp needle pierces through my skin. But you were not bad. You should have seen your brother last night. He was hysterical. But he is always for theatrics, that big brother of yours.

So sleep and rest for now. Results of the blood tests shall be out later in the day. I am praying you and your brother are not worse off that you guys already are.

Insya Allah.

Lots of love,

ABAH

Sunday, February 09, 2014

Letter From A Father To His Daughter

By: Kelly M. Flanagan   |  02/06/2014

Dear Little One,

As I write this, I'm sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store. A friend recently texted me from a different makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to find out what he meant. And now that I'm sitting here, I'm beginning to agree with him. Words have power, and the words on display in this aisle have a deep power. Words and phrases like:

Affordably gorgeous,

Infallible,

Flawless finish,

Brilliant strength,

Liquid power,

Go nude,

Age-defying,

Instant age rewind,

Choose your dream,

Nearly naked, and

Natural beauty.

When you have a daughter, you start to realize she's just as strong as everyone else in the house -- a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won't see her that way. They'll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And they'll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence.

But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a father can begin to compete with the words of the world. Maybe a father's words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her own worthiness and beauty.

A father's words aren't different words, but they are words with a radically different meaning:

Brilliant strength. May your strength be not in your fingernails but in your heart. May you discern in your center who you are, and then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world.

Choose your dream. But not from a department store shelf. Find the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted there. Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope.

Naked. The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep them on. But take your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With abandon.

Infallible. May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility doesn't exist. It's an illusion created by people interested in your wallet. If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible grace -- for yourself, and for everyone around you.

Age-defying. Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to enjoy and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly resist the aging of your spirit.

Flawless finish. Your finish has nothing to do with how your face looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged by grace, may you grow in wisdom and may your love become big enough to embrace all people. May your flawless finish be a peaceful embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be a gift to everyone who cherishes you.

Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I will surely understand if someday makeup is important to you. But I pray three words will remain more important to you -- the last three words you say every night, when I ask the question: "Where are you the most beautiful?" Three words so bright no concealer can cover them.

Where are you the most beautiful?

On the inside.

From my heart to yours,

Daddy

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This post originally appeared on DrKellyFlanagan.com

Monday, February 03, 2014

What Little Girls Wish Daddies Knew


Tara Hedman   |  02/02/2014

I'm spending the morning waiting for my car in the repair shop. Four men in flannel (I missed the flannel memo) and I sit around smelling tires and inhaling exhaust fumes while an enchanting little fairy is in constant motion around her daddy. She climbs on him, giggles, turns around, and then she's back to twirling on the tile.

She's bouncing and spinning around in her pink frilly skirt. Her black cable knit tights are sagging around her tiny knees, and her puffy coat makes her arms stand out further than is natural. To top off the ensemble is a shiny crystal tiara. It's been tacked down to her head with what appears to be about 60 haphazard bobby pins.

She's probably 4 years old. So little, so vulnerable. She doesn't seem concerned about it as she sings about teapots and ladybugs in her black Mary Janes. I feel myself tear up as I watch her. I tear up as I watch him watch her. She could not possibly know at 4 what impact this man, his character or his words will have on her for years to come. And, maybe he doesn't know either.

So, to all the daddies with little girls who aren't old enough yet to ask for what they need from you, here is what we wish you knew:

1. How you love me is how I will love myself.

2. Ask how I am feeling and listen to my answer, I need to know you value me before I can understand my true value.

3. I learn how I should be treated by how you treat my mom, whether you are married to her or not.

4. If you are angry with me, I feel it even if I don't understand it, so talk to me.

5. Every time you show grace to me or someone else, I learn to trust God a little more.

6. I need to experience your nurturing physical strength, so I learn to trust the physicality of men.

7. Please don't talk about sex like a teenage boy, or I think it's something dirty.

8. When your tone is gentle, I understand what you are saying much better.

9. How you talk about female bodies when you're "just joking" is what I believe about my own.

10. How you handle my heart, is how I will allow it to be handled by others.

11. If you encourage me to find what brings joy, I will always seek it.

12. If you teach me what safe feels like when I'm with you, I will know better how to guard myself from men who are not.

13. Teach me a love of art, science, and nature, and I will learn that intellect matters more than dress size.

14. Let me say exactly what I want even if it's wrong or silly, because I need to know having a strong voice is acceptable to you.

15. When I get older, if you seem afraid of my changing body, I will believe something is wrong with it.

16. If you understand contentment for yourself, so will I.

17. When I ask you to let go, please remain available; I will always come back and need you if you do.

18. If you demonstrate tenderness, I learn to embrace my own vulnerability rather than fear it.

19. When you let me help fix the car and paint the house, I will believe I can do anything a boy can do.

20. When you protect my femininity, I learn everything about me is worthy of protecting.

21. How you treat our dog when you think I'm not watching tells me more about you than does just about anything else.

22. Don't let money be everything, or I learn not to respect it or you.

23. Hug, hold, and kiss me in all the ways a daddy does that are right and good and pure. I need it so much to understand healthy touch.

24. Please don't lie, because I believe what you say.

25. Don't avoid hard conversations, because it makes me believe I'm not worth fighting for.

It's pretty simple, really. Little girls just love their daddies. They each think their daddy hung the moon. Once in a while when you look at your little gal twirling in her frilly skirt, remember she'll be grown one day. What do you want her to know about men, life, herself, love? What you do and say now matters for a lifetime. Daddies, never underestimate the impact of your words or deeds on your daughters, no matter their age.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The First Day

As usual, the first day is always the toughest. It's Eiddin's turn this year and he is putting on a brave front, trudging through the day. It's not easy, not easy at all.

Inshaa Allah he will give it his best, this boy. We know...

Saturday, February 23, 2013

BEST TOY IN MY UNIVERSE

Currently the best toy in my world. Don't try to look for this toy anywhere for this toy is not available in Toys 'r' Us, ToyCity or any other toy stores as only one unit was ever made and produced for each version. The production took 9 full months but the process was monitored on monthly basis and on weekly basis during the last month.

This toy does not operate on batteries and the dresses are sold separately. At the moment, the behaviour of this toy is largely predictable but still, caution while handling must ever be in existent as this toy is equipped with a steadily developing brain and can be pretty unpredictable at times.

What can the toy do?

The toy mostly smiles, giggles and regurgitates random, incomprehensible sounds. This toy needs to be fed constantly but must have enough sleep. On the down side, this toy discharges foul smelling excrement. Lack of sleep can result in major tantrums exhibited through ear-piercing wailing sounds.

But most importantly, the toy also has the amazing abilities to turn gloomy days into bright ones and cheer people up. The toy lifts spirits and makes problems disappear. For now, this toy is very capable to bring smiles and laughter to the whole household.

Hence why this is the best toy in my world. Eh why be self-limiting? Let's just say that this is the best toy in my UNIVERSE!!!

Sent by Poslaju

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013


HAPPY NEW YEAR.

This is not a late posting. I just want to be fashionably late ha ha ha. I figure most of the blogs that are still (or barely!!!) alive up to this point and has not been eaten by the evils of Instagram, Facebook and the likes (yes you knizam.com hahaha), their owners must have jumped in headfirst yesterday to update their blogs. So, I decided to sacrifice yesterday, the first day of the year, for today, the second day, just so that the blogosphere will not be awfully quiet :)

Well, technically speaking, some place somewhere further west, it is still the first of January. It's 10:53 PM, Tuesday, January 1, 2013 (EST) in New York. So am not late. Am still in the zone.

Ok enough with that...and on with the subject.

2013...hmmm...what to expect? What it has in store? For starters, this year will be one day short compared to 2012. So, I have to do with one day less compared to last year. Must hurry then!!!

2012 is quite a tough year to beat. Besides the London Olympics and Messi confirming he is an extra terrestrial being, waltzing around the lesser equipped Earthlings, there was this particularly historic event, though on personal level, that happened inside the last quarter of the year - the granting of a huge amanah from Allah SWT to us. This beats any other things hands down. We are indeed very grateful. And for that, 2012 is a vintage year for us.

So what to make of 2013? The usual suspects -eat less, exercise more, sleep less, read more, curse less, pray more, talk less, do more, hate less, love more- never fail to push and shove their way into the new year resolutions list. As hard as they push and shove to make their appearance on the list, they will push and shove just as hard along the year to fall out of the list.

Early in the morning, a good friend gave a jolt. "Istiqamah bro...don't just blast on the first day..", Syam said, responding to my FB posting. True bro...true...

So let this be the theme of the year - ISTIQAMAH. Well, that's one big challenge!!!

Here's hoping for a great year, wonderful 2013!!!

Joe, consistently inconsistent is istiqamah also right? ha ha ha...